Wednesday, December 1, 2010

And the winner is....

For the ugliest driver's license design.....drumroll please...

I should have taken a clue from my time at the DMV. I had never seen a Virginia driver's license before, but I didn't have high hopes. When I stepped up to the counter to file my various forms of paperwork to register, re-title, and the license the car, I had no idea they would only give you one try for your photo. Or that they wouldn't let you approve it before it went off into DMV no man's land. Or that you couldn't even smile with your teeth. Things were doomed from the start.

So I'll look like a dweeb, I thought. What can I do? Then it came. In the mail. Last night.

The picture, well, I've taken better and I've taken worse. It's the design that kills me. My black and white mug is on the left under an italicized Virginia logo written--along with 'Driver's License' across the top--in a delicate shade of lavender. Next to my picture is etched (what I presume to be) the state capitol building with mauve rays emitting the words service, security, and safe from it's lavender portico. On the right side amidst the mauve backdrop is an oval cut-out; you can see right through the license. But wait. My grayscale picture is printed on that clear oval piece of plastic so I look just like one of those ghosts in Disneyland's haunted house. Lavender. Mauve. Ghost. Nightmare.

The only things this license is missing are kitties and unicorns.
Update: To those of you who are itching to see my license, I'll show you in person (no need to broadcast all my info over the web!). Until then, I hope this "Police Sample For Training Purposes" satisfies. Please note that I, like the gentleman in the photo, also have 'bro' eyes.


  1. So where is the picture on your blog? I can't stand the suspense! Please show me...and the thousands of others that read your blog! If you don't "show" us, will you put it on your Christmas card for all to see? I haven't felt this much suspense since watching Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds back in the late 60's!

  2. dude, ditto to what your mom said

  3. No, I will not put this on my Christmas card. And thanks, Mom, for likening my new identification card to an Alfred Hitchcock horror film. I hope this example photo will hold you over until I can flash you my own version of a VA license. I swear, an old lady must have designed this thing.


  4. haha!! But UNlike the gentleman in the photo, you certainly are not a bro.